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Gay Men & Meth
Why do they do it? Why are so many gay men, in their 20s, 30s,
even 40s, 50s, 60s…men with good jobs, good friends, men in
committed relationships, falling prey? These men who on paper seem
to have it all, why are so many risking everything for sex.
At blinding speed, Crystal Meth is ushering in a new generation
of HIV infection alongside a host of other life-destroying attributes.
Unlike HIV alone, Crystal destroys the professional, financial and
personal lives of gay men, often in a matter of months. The psychological
attributes of Crystal addiction often create self-destructive behavior
that makes it difficult, if not impossible, to stop. And the numbers
are frightening. Anecdotally, more than 1/3 of new HIV infection
can be attributed to Crystal use, and new HIV infection rates are
rising again among gay men.
Potentially more destructive than the first HIV pandemic, Crystal
Meth is fueling an underground culture of ‘bareback’
sex-parties. The feelings of euphoria and invincibility that Crystal
engenders, perhaps combined with a less-than-reasonable fear of
HIV infection, keep HIV-negative men from using condoms. At the
same time, Crystal-driven sex-positive communities of HIV positive
men have evolved into a don’t ask/don’t tell sub-culture
where status is not discussed. As these communities collide, new
infections are skyrocketing, and the AIDS crisis seems on the brink
of exploding all over.
In November, 2003, the community’s indifference and silence
took its toll on AIDS activist and recovering crystal meth addict,
Peter Staley. Spending $6,000 of his own money to come up with a
campaign that was featured on Verizon phone booths in Chelsea, he
created an image of 6-packed-ab club boy, his face obscured by a
mirror disco ball, emblazoned with the words, “Buy Crystal,
get HIV Free!” Finally people had to pay attention. The
New York Times ran an article about Staley and the advertisement.
The heat from the press helped galvanize community leaders to hold
standing room only forums. Not since the heady days of Act-Up in
the 80’s have people been so charged-up. Yet still the sex
parties continue, younger gay men continue to contract HIV from
meth-driven multi-day barebacking binges. Older gay men continue
to lose their homes, jobs, lovers and friends at a harrowing speed.
And more and more, as the drugs potency increases, people are even
dying…on the spot.
ROCK BOTTOM follows this story from its unfolding in 2004 as New
York City awoke to this latest HIV crisis. As Staley’s activism
stands in the face of decades of behavioral evolution, we watch
addicts attempt to walk away from desperately needed, drug-fueled,
sexual validation. The film delivers stark access into some very
dark periods in these men’s lives. Yet we also get to see
them come up for air. The path is anything but straightforward,
but their journeys help us understand the underlying issues of a
community in crisis. As one of our character’s mother tells
us… ”No one wants to be an addict…there must be
a reason behind it.” Through following our subjects over two
years, we begin to understand just what some of these reasons are…and
hopefully begin to change the course.
The Personal Stories
ROCK BOTTOM will follow Activist Peter Staley as he attempts to
wake the New York gay community and New York City Health officials
up from their complacency coma of the past decade. Rock Bottom will
join Peter Staley on his Herculean effort of telling the gruesome
story of meth addiction to the world at large. Our film is unflinching
in its efforts to document the truth.
We track one meth addict in the grips of his addiction. When we
meet CJ, he’s “at a cross-roads”, having just
begun his meth/sex journey, but trying to maintain his primary relationship
with a boyfriend who doesn’t do drugs. As he struggles at
home, he makes periodic binge trips from Westchester to New York
City to do nothing but tweak on crystal and have sex with as many
men as he can. He is HIV positive but doesn’t use condoms.
His need for sexual validation is as potent as the drug itself.
He knows he is headed for trouble but he still can’t stop.
His intelligent, honest reasoning is all the more compelling as
he gives in to his demons on a monthly basis. Along CJs path we
meet Gio…young and naïve, while high he professes his
love for CJ, in the light of day his bitterness towards CJ masks
fear and anxiety over his reckless behavior as he tells us “I’m
a big boy, I can take care of myself.” Five months later,
we find out first-hand how wrong he was.
Mark, 38, is an up and coming playwright/actor who’s just
celebrated five years of sobriety. For him it’s a miracle
that he’s alive, yet alone sober as he considers the depths
that the drug took him in the 90s. After nearly losing everything,
including his life, his path to recovery is a story that’s
never finished. Through a variety of therapeutic approaches to recovery,
Mark rebuilds his life and reclaims his sexuality, this time without
drugs. He is reminded every day of the challenges and temptations
that he faces as a single gay man. Mark’s candor and personal
awareness provide unique insight into the addiction/recovery cycle.
We meet J., 28, HIV-. An aspiring singer/songwriter who thinks
porn will be the path to stardom, and thinks club drugs are all
the same. As he makes his music debut on the club circuit performing
a single about drugs and sex, he starts dating Tarrell, a self-professed
stoner who doesn’t do hard drugs. He claims that his life
really started taking off in August, 2004, when he tried crystal
for the first time, got a gold card to the popular New York nightclub,
Roxy, and starred in two adult videos for Michael Lucas of Lucas
Entertainment. We follow J. as he tries to make his musical career
happen and navigate the dark waters of the party scene.
Next is Eric, 40, African-American. In our first interview, he’s
happily telling us about his recovery over the past few years, the
success of his therapy…then he explains that he just needs
a break…and we follow him as he goes “to see Dr. Feelgood,”
his dealer. Ten days later he leaves us a message that he’s
off to rehab…his little ‘break’ didn’t quite
go as planned. A few months later, he’s been in/out of rehab
again, as he takes us to the woods at the top of Manhattan where
“a pack of wild Dominican hyenas had their way with him.”
And it only gets worse for Eric.
Scott is 33, HIV negative, he has a great job, good friends. As
a child his parents tried to ‘fix’ him through various
re-programming therapies. All his adult life, gay sex has been problematic.
When he’s sober, he’s not interested. When he’s
high, it’s a whole different story. When we meet Scott, he’s
living with a boyfriend who doesn’t do drugs. They don’t
have sex. He has a great job…and thinks he can dabble on weekends
with no repercussions…soon that strategy becomes harder and
harder to maintain.
Raymond, 47, is a successful graphic artist from Minnesota. Introduced
to Tina by his last boyfriend, he lost his job, home and the patience
of many friends and family in just two years. We meet him hooked
up to an IV in Cabrini Hospital, debilitated from a staph infection
as a result of his injection use. Since we began filming he’s
made 90 days clean and relapsed numerous times, for “the relaxation
the crystal and fisting brings him.” Along the way even his
sister asks him to figure out how to have sex without the drug…it’s
a question that for Raymond may not have an answer.
Voices from the Community
Complementing these personal struggles will be a few voices from
the community who help to build upon the major themes of loneliness,
belonging and community. Dr. Perry Halkitis, PhD runs NYU’s
Center for HIV Education Studies & Training, and has been studying
gay men, club drugs and sex in New York City for over a decade.
His research provides great insight and dimension to the rising
crystal meth epidemic. Larry Kramer has spoken with passion and
clarity that ‘we need to stop fucking ourselves to death.’
We also interviewed Dr. Steven Lee a psychiatrist and Assistant
Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital.
He is publishing a new book on Crystal Meth addiction focused on
the drug’s long-term effects on the brain. In private practice
and as consultant to Callen-Lorde in their harm reduction program,
Steven has been treating gay men and meth addiction for over a decade.
Christopher Murray, MSW, is a counselor focusing on gay men and
substance use at NYC’s LGBT Community Center.
Film Structure
As our main characters’ journeys unfold, Peter Staley’s
activism combines with Mark’s reflection and the community
voices to form a chorus that helps us understand how these men got
where they are and the hurdles they face to move on. We witness
CJ he gets high in a sex club and stays up for days, then tries
to rationalize his behavior. We watch as he gets fed up with the
life style and flushes $200 worth of crystal down the toilet, vowing
“never to do it again.” We track Raymond at the hospital
surrounded by his brother and sister and follow him in his early
months of recovery and watch him build his life again only to watch
him relapse again and again as he struggles with having non-crystal
sex. We meet up with J. as he begins to date someone he met from
the clubs. Balancing his two part-time jobs, his singing career,
new found fame from the adult movies he feels he deserves his weekend
excursions to the clubs. Although he has only done crystal five
times, he feels he has total control over the drug and can put it
down anytime he wants. He just doesn’t want to stop, yet.
We follow our characters periodically for the better part of two
years. Sometimes they’re almost different people from one
interview to the next as we witness the devastating impact the drug
has on their lives. Quitting the drug is just the beginning of the
journey of ROCK BOTTOM.
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Rock
Bottom - Gay Men & Meth