filmmaker Jim de Sève
Working from the frontlines of independent filmmaking Jim de Sève is the chronicler of America's new culture war—the divisive battle over marriage. His home base is Brooklyn, NY, and he has produced work for Nickelodeon, the American Museum of Natural History and the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Jim's documentary, BURYING THE SAINTS, is a personal portrait of his eccentric aunts' search for lost history. In his PBS short, SIGRID AND RUDI DO NEW YORK, two Bavarian tourists experience danger and love in New York's mean, magical streets. de Sève was the DP for SEEDS, about a revolutionary summer camp for ethnic enemies. TYING THE KNOT takes "activist filmmaking" back to its roots of affecting lasting change, and the film is an example for independent producers on creating networks of support and reaching out to build community through the filmmaker's vision for social justice.
TYING THE KNOT OFFICIAL WEBSITE
q&a with Jim de Sève
Q: What made you decide to make this film?
Jim de Sève: I started this project with a personal discovery in mind. Two years after my boyfriend Kian Tjong and I got together, I started to think about our future as a family. Both of us were brought up by married, heterosexual parents, so the meaning and the reality of marriage are very familiar but personally foreign because we're not allowed into this civil institution.
Near the start of the film in 2001, the Netherlands became the first country to open marriage for same-sex couples. We went there and talked to politicians and gay couples who married legally. As I learned about what marriage meant to them, I began to encounter passionate movements in the world, especially in the U.S., to open marriage. As the battles for marriage got more intense and fast-paced, I was completely absorbed in filming every important event I could. It's not until I sat down to edit that Tying the Knot took shape.
Q: What are the unique challenges you face in the making this film?
Jim de Sève: The toughest part was coming up with an organic flow to so much material. We didn't want to make a complete historical compendium but to try to show how history and personal struggles interrelate. It was a painstaking process to arrive at the final cut. But I'm very happy with the final result. I'm still in awe that we managed to construct a piece that feels solid, captivating and emotional.
Also, Sam's life fell apart in front of my eyes—it was very emotional and hard to just play the role of documenter. Keeping professional distance is tricky. But for whatever personal involvement I wanted to have I had to keep an eye on the larger picture—helping through this film to end the discrimination.
Q: Did you have a particular point of view in your approach to Tying The Knot? How did you maintain an objective stand?
Jim de Sève: My point of view is that this is a civil rights issue. I don't particularly want to give a voice to bigots or to discrimination. Nobody would suggest making a "balanced and fair" documentary about slavery or women not having the right to vote. It is just a matter of time that people will look back in horror to the days when gay surviving partners could not collect Social Security or pensions, or someone like Sam could be booted off his property.
It would be easy to ridicule the opponents of marriage rights for gays and lesbians. But I worried that people we could reach about the issue might be turned off. I try to be respectful in representing the opposing side. I chose some of the most influential figures. James Dobson is the founder of the largest Christian right-wing group Focus on the Family, with an annual budget of over $100 million. Millions of Americans listened to his radio talk shows. He has threatened to withdraw his support from the Republican Party. Dobson, together with a number of senators and congress members represented in the film, are the leading force behind the push to ban marriage for gays and lesbians. They are well represented throughout the film.
Q: Notably missing are gay people who do not support marriage?
Jim de Sève: Neither did I include straight people who don't want marriage for themselves. People, straight or gay, can always have that choice, even after gay and lesbian couples win the right to marry. Tying The Knot argues for the right to have a choice to marry the person we love. The keyword here is choice. This is not a gay documentary. I don't feel the need to represent an opinion simply based on a person's sexual orientation or identity.
Q: What's your perspective on civil union and why is it not discussed in the film?
Jim de Sève: Civil union doesn't provide any of over 1,000 federal protections that come with civil marriage. In fact, the reason Vermont has civil union is because same-sex couples sued for marriage. Civil Marriage has always been the driving force in this debate. Tying the Knot focuses on civil marriage because there is nothing equal to civil marriage but civil marriage. I want to sustain audience's attention to the main issue and the main characters, Sam and Mickie. In the end, that's what matters, the impact of this unequal treatment to everyday Americans.
Many people argue that asking for civil union and thus, avoiding the word "marriage" would spare us a harsh backlash from the religious fundamentalists. I don't think this is a better strategy. To begin with, civil union is very unequal compared to civil marriage. A lot of us don't realize that civil marriage coexists with religious marriage. In fact, the Catholic Church only declared marriage as a sacrament in the 13th century. The religious fundamentalists have fought against every gay right. Asking for less will get us nothing. Even if there's a hypothetical civil union bill that provides the same legal rights and protections as civil marriage, one must questions the virtue of creating a separate institution if the motivation is to discriminate. Separate is not equal.
Q: Who is your audience?
Jim de Sève: We're fortunate that Tying the Knot has elements that appeal to different people. Mickie's story is about a murder, family betrayal and an emotional courtroom drama, which will appeal to a mass audience. I think many Americans will relate to Sam. He could be your father or uncle. And the daring civil disobedience actions are suspenseful and humorous. The political battles are very mentally energetic. In our current political climate, every American has an opinion on this subject.
Q: What was the most surprising thing to you in making Tying The Knot?
Jim de Sève: I was stunned that the marriage issue would explode right in front of me as I was making this film. It was frantic—being in a state of urgency almost all the time, not knowing what would happen next. By documenting events as they happen, you get an interesting view on the people working to change things. Very different from making a historical documentary.
Q: What were your goals in making Tying The Knot?
Jim de Sève: I want to share my discovery of marriage with my audience. I have been given trust in Mickie's and Sam's lives, when they should be grieving, to tell their stories. I want to share my experience knowing these two accidental participants in history. I hope their inspiring stories, despite their heartbreaking losses, will lift us, especially in America, to be better people, tolerant and loving to others.
Throughout history, through false accusation and campaigns of fear, many lives have been unnecessarily destroyed. I feel that if we're not careful, we will repeat history, especially in this time, after September 11. A film can reach out to millions, allowing my experience to transcend to them. I'd like to involve as many people in outreach and education.
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